…until somebody loses an eye.
Remember that gem? I’m sure my parents rolled that one out a time or two when I was finally doing something active. I’ve always been risk adverse. Better safe than sorry has been my life’s mission statement.
Yeah, sometimes I think I was born old…
But I want to change this saying to fit our wonderful social media age. I think it should be ‘it’s all fun and games until we need the people we’re making fun of’.
Because as much as I like to think I don’t need people sometimes life is much easier with people. Most of the time they were people I had just met. People who were capable of empathy, capable of being decent, friendly human beings, capable of showing someone respect just because and without judgement.
In other words, not my family…
Now, though, we have a whole generation of people who think it’s acceptable to poke fun at others because they need support, because they seek that support on social media, all the while the pokers are just looking for attention. Attention for their looks.
It is all superficial bull shit – pardon my French.
You may be wondering what prompted this rant. I fell for it. I fell for someone’s ‘don’t I look fabulous while my world’s falling apart’ post. See, when someone posts something about their ‘world falling apart’ I feel a pang of empathy.
I know what it’s like to feel that way. To feel lost and alone. So even though I don’t agree with people sharing every tragedy, every problem online, I get it. I know I over-shared for quite a few years looking for anyone and everyone who would understand, who might be able to lessen the pain. I am still grateful that my ‘world fell apart’ well before the Internet and social media was a thing.
Ugh, that would have been bad.
And come to find out, this person’s world wasn’t crumbling. It was all a joke. All poking fun at someone. I suppose I should mention this person – the one poking fun – has also made fun of me, in person.
I can take it. I’ve been bullied and laughed at by the best – or maybe I should say worst – so that doesn’t bother me so much. No, what bothers me is when they do it to someone else. Someone who may or may not be able to take it.
Because, people, transparency is a myth. We don’t know what’s going on inside of other people based on their looks or demeanor. We can’t. Because we could do real damage just by making a ‘harmless’ joke. Because someday – even if we don’t think it’s possible – we’re going to need people.
Otherwise our lives are so superficial they’re meaningless…
I don’t know about you but that’s the real tragedy. To go through life making fun of what we don’t understand, hurting people while we’re oblivious of their pain, never making the kind of connections that will make us better people.
So, yeah, it’s all fun and games until we need the people we’re making fun of.
Amen to your post C.J………..my heart breaks for all people who are hurting and to think someone would do it as a joke is horrifying………thank you for having the guts to talk about this.
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It was so hard and I felt like such a fool but people need to know that it happens to just about everyone. I felt like I was in high school again which is very, very sad. And yes I feel for everyone who is in pain. It sucks and I wish I could take it all away. And thanks again for reading, following, and commenting!
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I am so very sorry that this happened to you. You just have to wonder what in the world people are missing in their own lives that they would want to hurt others. It is beyond my comprehension to behave in such a way.
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Yep, me too, but I’ve kind of been there which is why I’m writing this blog. It is so easy to be oblivious to other people’s pain and I never want to live that way anymore. And I hope that I can help other people get there too.
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I am sure you are a blessing to many more people than you realize through your writings!
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Thank you.
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Reblogged this on WordyNerdBird and commented:
This article resonates deeply with me on so many levels. My mother used to quote things like this all the time, with her favourite being “Stop it! Stop it! Someone will get hurt in a minute!” My beloved mum is long gone, but this still gets quoted among our family in our best “Mum” voice on a regular basis.
The author of this post makes some really good points about how people treat one another, especially on social media where some seem to think that everything is acceptable because they are hiding behind a screen and a keyboard.
Cruelty is never okay. A joke among friends is one thing: mocking someone, making fun of them, calling names or deriding their character is a different beast altogether.
It really isn’t so hard to be kind. It really isn’t so hard to put yourself in someone else’s shoes and think about how they might feel.
It’s pretty basic, really, to “do to others as you would have them do to you”, but so few people seem to manage it.
In the immortal words of Maxwell Smart, “if only they used their [social media] for goodness instead of rottenness.”
Make good choices, people. Choose the positive. Choose kindness.
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Thank you so much for spreading the word!! And yes what we say is a choice.
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Yes, unfortunately, bullying, even jokingly, can have horrible effects. In my town, a 13-year-old killed herself because she was bullied about having to wear braces. And we have people jumping off the bridges over the freeway all the time here too. Yes, there are levels of bullying and some are definitely more severe than others. Being assaulted and then bullied by the same people is a terrifying level of bullying. Having a knife pulled on you is a terrifying level. So I think that one level, even the most seemingless harmless all has a potential to really hurt others or even kill them. You are right. Choose kindness.
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That is horrible! It is so hard to know the affect our words will have on someone but when we choose to be kind and think about what we say before we say it we err on the side of caution. Thank you for reading and commenting!
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Sadly, it happens here, too. It breaks my heart. Those poor kids have so much value inside them that just gets overlooked.
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Yes, and that’s what I want to let people who have been bullied know. You have value no matter what others think or say.
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