Open That Can of Worms

DSCN0779I cut my own hair. No, I don’t mean I had my long hair all cut off. I’ve done that more times than I can count. What I mean is that I watched a YouTube video, gathered my hair scrunchies and scissors, and chopped off a couple of inches of my hair.

Maybe some of you are thinking, ‘so’. And I suppose in the grand scheme of things cutting my own hair isn’t that big a deal. That’s what I thought too at first. I thought, ‘Hey, what’s the worst that could happen? I would just have to find a Best Cuts or something to straighten it out.’

After I cut it I didn’t have that moment of panic we sometimes get when we do something impulsively for the first time. If anything it was quite liberating because cutting my own hair was something I had been thinking of doing for some time for frugal reasons.

I never went to my hairdresser more than three or four times a year. For the last couple of years I cut back to twice a year but it still wasn’t enough. I still couldn’t justify spending $150 per visit anymore.

Yep, $150 per visit…

It adds up.

So I cut my hair and opened a huge can of worms I had no idea even existed. I hate it when that happens…

To understand what I’m talking about I have to take you back to my childhood. My mom used to cut my hair up until I left home. She cut her own hair. I don’t even know how she learned how to do it, but she was pretty good at it.

I hadn’t thought about any of that until after I cut my hair. Was I really turning into my mother? Don’t I deserve to be pampered once in a while? Can’t I spend any money on something frivolous for myself?

First of all, turning into my mother wouldn’t be all bad if I left behind the cold, close-minded, judgmental side of her. She was a resourceful, intelligent, and stoic. Three things I certainly aspire to be these days. Oh and she raised a family of four on less than $1000 a month which even in the 1980s was no mean feat.

And, yet, I struggled with feelings of anger and frustration and guilt. Not something I expected from a ten minute hair cut. How do I reconcile the fact that my past and my future are beginning to look very similar? You know without the bigotry and hatred.

I wish I knew. As of this post I still don’t and I may never know. All I know is that how I was raised wasn’t all bad. And when I think about living in the mountains with nothing but the trees and the critters I am at peace.

Second of all, there’s the pampering. Good lord, the idea of being stuck in a room with a bunch of random women is my idea of hell. So why do I think getting my hair done is pampering myself? If I really wanted to pamper myself I would go for a walk with R.J., my husband, and my dogs. I would put on my favorite music, have a drink, and dance around my living room. I would read a great book. I would write one…

Do you want to know the coolest part of all of those things? I don’t have to pay $150 each time I want to do any of them…

So the next time you think of doing something that will save you money, time, or your sanity I say do it. It may open a giant can of worms but it’ll be worth it once you’ve sorted through them.

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