Do you ever feel like you have something prove? To justify your life choices? To defend who you are?
Yeah, me too. I’m pretty sure that’s why I can’t remember most of my 20s. I was so angry and defensive and competitive that I couldn’t stand anyone else. They were the enemy. It was like anyone else’s success lessened my chances to be happy and successful.
Which is absurd. There is plenty of success to go around.
Of course, I’m starting to understand that now. So when I see the same behavior I had back in the day in the people closest to me I cringe and then I smile. And I have to fight the urge to judge and take them by the shoulders so I can shake some sense in to them.
Isn’t that always the way, though? Even when we recognize the same stupid shit we used to do we still think badly about others when they do it. Especially when they’re younger.
Like everyone should be where we’re at now in life. We conveniently forget how poorly we used to behave and treat others. We somehow want everything to be a competition. Even those closest to us to be the enemy. All in the name of drama and excitement.
Then again maybe it’s just me. But if it’s not then let me give you some hope if you’re still trying to prove something to the world. There will come a day when you no longer have anything to prove to anyone including yourself. You are no longer competing against anyone else but yourself.
No one is the enemy unless you want them to be.
And that is what I’ve learned these past two decades. My defensiveness, competitiveness, chip on my shoulder, and needing to prove I’m good enough is all about me. It’s all about me wanting to make people like me, accept me. It’s all about pride.
But if we can somehow let all of that go we can start to enjoy people. We can meet them where they’re at and offer perspective and guidance without judgement. But only if they ask for and want it – but that’s another post.
So if you haven’t made any goals for this year yet. Let this be one of them. Vow to let go of the chip on your shoulder and need to prove yourself to anyone.