The only way out is through…
Ever heard that gem of a saying? I’m pretty sure a good percentage of self-help gurus base their philosophy on this saying. And I agree with it mainly because I’m on the other side of a lot of stuff.
If you’re going through something right now, though, this is probably the last thing you want some well-meaning bastard to say to you. Cause going through sucks – big time. Hell, half the time you don’t even know you’re on the other side right away.
Plus, sometimes it’s easier just to get stuck. Allowing the self-pity to fuel you’re self-righteous anger and justly so in most cases. Not to mention the paralyzing fear of what’s on the other side.
What if what you find on the other side is only more pain and misery, right?
What if the saying ‘what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger’ was only some masochist’s way of messing with real people?
But see I’ve made my way to the other side many times, most of the time kicking and screaming, and it has always been better. Mostly because all of the negative emotions are gone. Usually the problem, circumstance hasn’t magically disappeared, but I’ve finally come to a place where it no longer dictates my mood.
And there’s a door to the other side that drastically reduces the time spent going through.
Do you want to know what that door is? Of course you do.
It’s called forgiveness. That’s it. Just forgiveness. Forget about the forgetting. Just work on the forgiveness and in time even when you do remember it won’t matter. Because when you truly forgive you no long feel that twinge of anger, anguish, pain when you think about what happened.
It’s still a process and it tends to take a long time unless you really work at it. There were times when I’ve opened and closed that door many times before I finally walked through it. Anger and pain and self-pity are such seductive emotions.
But they suck the life right out of you and leave you an empty shell. They make it impossible to accomplish anything of value. They kill every relationship you have.
So do yourself a favor – stop nursing the hurt, the grudge and forgive. I know for a fact that it’s only hurting you. Whoever you’re spending your time hating has most likely moved on, because if they hadn’t they would have apologized by now.
Think about that…
Besides, the other side is a wonderfully, awesome place to be.