Holidays & Funerals

img588Another Mother’s Day has come and gone. I asked R.J. about why we have such a holiday and he said it was probably just something the greeting card companies came up with as a marketing scheme. That’s what it turned into once companies realized how much profit there was to be made, but the woman, Anna Jarvis, who started the modern-day version in the United States simply wanted to honor her dead mother.

So, there you go, not all holidays were conceived out of greed. Only exploited after the fact. I’m not really that upset. I was just curious.

It’s nice to have a day where people are nice to each other even if it is only out of obligation. There’s hugs and kisses and visits. There’s time spent where we were sure there wasn’t any the week before. There are positive thoughts and kind words.

Now that I think about it funerals and memorial services are a lot like holidays…

Why is it that we can only manage to see the good in people on holidays and after they’re gone? Why is it that we can’t take the time to visit until holidays come around or people are on their death beds? Why is it that forgiveness can only come when the pressure of interaction either forces us to or is the opportunity is gone forever?

What a waste!

If we don’t care for someone while their alive why would we suddenly think they’re the greatest person ever after they’re gone?

I’m not saying we should spit on graves. Hell, no. What I’m saying is the time to move past shit is while it can still do some good.

And why wait until once or twice a year to be nice to someone? Do you think your mother would hate seeing you any other time of the year or not want some small token of affection? I was going to say flowers, but some women literally hate getting flowers.

I still don’t get that, but, hey, that’s me. Someone wants to give me something I’ll take it gladly. Might be the frugality coming out…

Look, I’m just as guilty of this as anyone else. I think of someone and wonder if I should call or visit and then get wrapped up in my own world and let it slide. It happens.

But I have also stopped wasting my time being angry at or unforgiving toward people. I try very hard to let any perceived offenses go as quickly as possible. I purposely forget the irritating quirks people have. I have found that if I think good thoughts about people being nice to them  becomes easier. It’s also easier to reach out in between holidays.

Not that I do that much, but that’s more of an introverted thing. I’m good on my own.

But at least now, when I do see people, I take the time to compliment them or say something nice to them. Or, hell, even smile.

Because there really is no way of knowing how much time we have left. And I don’t know about you, but I don’t want people to remember me fondly only out of obligation after I’m gone. I want to make every day, every interaction, count.

I want to make people smile and laugh and feel good about themselves even if it’s only for a moment. I want people to know that someone sees them and appreciates them while they’re still here, while it still matters. I want to stop wasting precious time being angry and frustrated over things I can’t change.

And that’s what it all comes down to. We need to stop wasting the most finite resource we have – time – being angry and holding in our kind words until it’s too late.



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