When your dreams come true, your true has moved…
I was about halfway through M.R. Carey’s The Girl With All the Gifts when I came across that line. I literally stopped, went back and reread it. Then reread it again. I was on the next chapter and I had to go back and reread it.
For a little context, the main character was experiencing things she had only ever heard about, dreamed about experiencing. So now she had to adjust because she wasn’t the same person she was when she first escaped. She was at odds not only with her new surroundings and circumstances, but also with herself.
And how often do we find ourselves in that particular situation?
Circumstances change. People we thought we knew change. We actually reach a goal or a dream we’ve had for a long, long time and then go ‘now what?’
How do I reconcile the person I was with who I’ve become? How do I decide who I want to become from here? Are the rest of my dreams still inline with where I’m at now?
So, yeah, I would have to agree that your true moves once even a small dream comes true. It’s not a bad thing. Not by a long shot. It just changes things – perspective mainly.
Because once I hit a goal or achieve a dream it makes me reevaluate my other dreams. Are they too big? Are they too small? Are they even my dreams anymore?
This is when I like to take a deep breath and remind myself that I don’t have to figure everything out all at once. That’s the nice things about dreams – they can be very fluid. I would argue they should be very fluid. Otherwise they could be shortsighted.
We have to be willing to take a hard look at our dreams every once in a while. I usually do that when I’ve actually had a smaller dream come true. Because we can grow in unexpected ways sometimes making old dreams obsolete. It’s why ‘be careful what you wish for’ is such a huge saying to me.
If I don’t look at dreams from every possible angle I may find that the dream I’ve been hoping for has become a nightmare. I’ve found that dreams usually come with added responsibility, which translates to more work. So knowing what I really want out of life and who I am has become a priority to me.
One of the first questions I usually ask myself when some bright idea hits me is ‘is this something I can deal with long-term or is it just a passing whim?’ Or ‘can I do the work to maintain whatever it is I want?’ Which really means, will I have the desire to do the maintenance after the new wears off?
You’d be surprised at how many things I’ve thought I’d wanted, been about to buy them and once I asked those questions change my mind. It’s also a great way to figure out what kind of property you want to buy for your dream home. At first it was sad when I figured out that I didn’t really want what I had thought I wanted in a home. But now I’m glad.
It’s much better to figure out what you don’t want before you buy something than after…
And through this process my true moves, which is really pretty great when I think about it. It means I’m growing. It means that I’ve learned to be flexible. It means that my dreams can be even bigger now…