I have a love/hate relationship with change. I love starting something new. There is nothing more exciting than experiencing something for the first time. Visiting a new place. Seeing something I’ve never seen before. It’s a rush.
Most of the time I’m glad I’ve decided to do something new, especially when it doesn’t require any lasting change. I can go back to the way things were no problem. Life is as it should be.
But sometimes starting something new requires that I change what I was doing before. I need to stop doing something in order to make time for the new project. Or I need to rearrange my schedule.
That’s when the discomfort and doubt start to creep in. That’s when I get cranky for no apparent reason. That’s when I long for the times when I could do what I was used to doing.
If this new thing was so great then all these negative feelings wouldn’t bombard me, right? And if this new thing was so awesome it would automatically fit into whatever I was already doing, right? In other words it would easy. It wouldn’t require any effort on my part or time to adjust.
But as I get older I’m beginning to understand that not all change can be instantaneously gratifying. I’m not going to be comfortable with all the changes that happen all the time.
I need time to adjust. And – here’s the most important part – that’s okay.
It’s that adjustment phase that determines success or failure and whether or not the change will be permanent. Being comfortable with not being comfortable all the time is what is going to get me to the next part of my life. Otherwise I might as well be content with where I’m at right now, because I’m not going anywhere.
But we’ve gotten so used to being comfortable. We’re bombarded with messages that tell us to avoid things that require effort or are different or require change. So now discomfort and pain are things that need to be avoided at all costs.
But that’s life. No matter how hard we try bad shit will happen. We will be required to do things we don’t want to do.
Change is inevitable.
But nothing says we have to like it. In fact, I can pretty much guarantee we won’t most of the time, but that’s okay.
It is perfectly – boy, I hate that word – okay to need time to adjust to new circumstances. It’s okay to not totally love everything new we have to do right off the bat.
What a relief…
I can take the time I need to adjust and so can you.