Ever notice how this is the time of year for extremes. Like I haven’t exercised for a minute all year, but suddenly on January 1st – okay maybe the 2nd – I’m going to start doing hour-long workouts everyday. Or I’ve been stuffing my face full of every carb and sugar loaded piece of food I can find for 365 days, but suddenly… Or I’ve been a raving bitch for one reason or another, but suddenly…
There is no easing into anything, at least not for me. It’s all or nothing. No moderation. No trying to figure out if there was a reason I was behaving that way before so maybe if I deal with that I will no longer want to indulge in self-destructive behavior. No, instead I wait for the another year, panic, make all kinds of resolutions I know I can’t keep, and start the whole cycle again.
Not this time.
I’ve spent a lot of quality time with myself the last 6 months and figured a few things out. Not everything, I will never have everything figured out. Where’s the fun in that anyway? I like to be surprised sometimes.
Huh, I didn’t used to be like that. I had to know everything all the time. Like if I wasn’t home it would kill me if I thought there was something going on that I didn’t know about. Or if we were going somewhere, just a day trip even, I had to have the itinerary before hand. Never mind that I could be surprised throughout the day and be happy and excited with each new stop.
Things are a lot easier this way. It makes last-minute anything a lot easier to handle. I know I don’t have to get upset if things don’t go as planned. Nothing has to go to the extreme. It also takes a lot of stress out of my day. I’m not wound up waiting for the next thing to happen that doesn’t fit into my narrowed world view. I can breathe.
I’m a big fan of breathing, not so much the life-sustaining kind of breathing, everyone does that. No, I’m talking about the I’m comfortable in my own skin even if I don’t like everything about me kind of breathing. We can’t do that if we’re trying to live one extreme or another. I also think it’s hard to actually learn and grow if we’re at one extreme or another, because there’s nowhere to go except backwards and then we think we’re failing.
So maybe that’s my resolution this year – no extremes, only growth and acceptance.
Who’s with me?